In this blog, Sarah Wild, Headteacher at Limpsfield Grange School in Surrey, discusses autistic masking in girls, and the challenges this presents.
Limpsfield Grange School the UK’s only school solely for autistic girls. It is an outstanding special school, maintained by Surrey County Council, where day and residential places are available for students aged between 11 and 16.
Autism in girls
Over recent years awareness has increased across society that autistic girls can present very differently to autistic boys. However, getting a diagnosis is still challenging for autistic girls, especially before they hit their teenage years. Social bias often means that female autistic traits are all too often ignored and overlooked; or attributed to just being a teenage girl. Autistic girls are also missed en-masse because of masking, and because they may present their autism internally.
When we talk about an external presentation of autism, we mean an autistic presentation where the autistic person behaves in a way which is visibly different to their non-autistic peers. They might stim by rocking or flapping their hands, they may not communicate through speech, they might exhibit distressed behaviour. Generally, children brought up as girls who are late diagnosed don’t tend to present that way as much. Their autistic traits (and those of some boys and non-binary young people) are camouflaged and internalised to help them fit in with their peers. However, masking comes with a high cost in terms of mental health and often children and young people who present in an internal way are diagnosed autistic because they have reached breaking point, and they can no longer function.
Autistic girls, and autistic people with an internal presentation, can be deceptively good at replicating neurotypical behaviours from a very young age, through the necessity to fit in. They expend a huge amount of energy in trying not to stand out or attract any adverse attention from their non-autistic peers or from wider society. This is called masking. Autistic girls, and autistic people with an internal presentation, can be experts in observing the non-autistic people around them; their behaviour and their mannerisms, and copying their social behaviour. The aim is to blend in with non-autistic peers, and not to attract any negative social attention. Autistic girls, and autistic people with an internal presentation, are often surrounded by peers who really don’t understand or relate to them. They feel that they have to mask their difficulties all day, and pretend to be a different version of themselves to survive socially, and to have friendships.
Autistic masking
Masking or camouflaging is mentally exhausting and isolating, and can lead to longer term problems. The pressure of holding on to all of their anxiety and unhappiness and frustrations all day long can lead to meltdowns or shut downs at home, or longer-term autistic burnout and mental, emotional, and physical exhaustion. They need to recover every day from their experience of masking. Balancing the demands and constraints of masking all day with time to recharge daily is crucial. It is vital that each autistic girl, or autistic person, with an internal presentation, finds a way each day to decompress after a day of masking. They need to find time to do something daily that will help them to relax and top up their social battery in order to stay well and to function. This is a highly personalised thing and can take many forms; from chilling out in a darkened bedroom for a few hours at the end of each busy day, to repeatedly watching a favourite YouTube clip or listening to a favourite song 50 times in a row. It’s important that adults understand that it is exhausting for them to get through the day, every day, and support them to recover from the gargantuan effort of masking all day long.
Further information:
https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/topics/behaviour/masking
https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/professional-practice/autistic-masking